


Jell-O Shots

by Dissipating_Mango



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Antennae stuff, Comedy, Dib is drunk and kinda pushy, Grinding, Heavy Petting, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Mildly Dubious Consent, Smut, Underage Drinking, Zim is repressed but into it, closet shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:15:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21714394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dissipating_Mango/pseuds/Dissipating_Mango
Summary: Dib drags Zim into a closet for totally platonic purposes.
Relationships: Dib/Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 353





	Jell-O Shots

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome! To your left, you will see a blatant list of several of my zadr specific kinks and to your right, you will find my tragic attempts at being funny. Enjoy the show

Shoving Zim with him into the closet at the stupid party Gaz made him go to, might've looked, from an outsiders perspective, a lot like something it wasn't.

No, Dib, definitely not drunk but maybe a little tipsy after a couple Jell-O shots, Membrane, was certainly not pushing the biggest threat to earth into a confined space to _make-out_ with him. That wasn't what was happening at all. 

  
Boy did his lips look shiny though. Had he been drinking? Could Irkens even get drunk? 

"Why did you shove me into this... coat hole?" 

"It's called a closet, idiot," Dib said as he shucked off his own coat. It was just, hot, that's all. The closet was very warm. Uncomfortably so. And why was he bothering with reasoning it to himself? It was a free country, he could take off his coat if he wanted to. Especially since it wasn't for sexy purposes, just practical ones. 

  
Zim pouted. "So why are we in here?" 

"Why not?" Dib shrugged. Was he blushing? He shouldn't be. Booze made you blush didn't it? Yeah, he could blame it on the alcohol. 

He was met with a scowl.

"You reek of that poison your fellow humans have been imbibing," Zim muttered in disgust. 

"Well, so do you!" 

Geez, he didn't mean to say that _that_ loud. Get a grip Dib...

"Eh? Zim has been drinking no intoxicating beverages." 

"Yeah? Okay then, prove it!" Dib demanded with the confidence only a drunken idiot could possess. 

"How am I supposed to _prove_ it?" 

He thought for a moment, his brain foggy and _wow_ , it was warm in here, and Zim was standing so close, and maybe a couple thoughts merged into one before he could comb through the rough drafts. 

  
"Lemme taste you," he blurted out. It made sense in his mind. 

Purple eyes went wide.   
"Taste... Me?"

In spite of the poor decision, Dib doubled down on his slip of the tongue. Tongue... 

"Yeah, lemme just..." 

Hands reached for green cheeks, landing with all the grace of a blind, one-legged swan. Dib giggled. 

"Oh you're so _soft_." 

Zim had to be softer than the average person. Not that he had ~~much~~ any experience touching someone else's skin. 

If you were to search for Dib's sexual experiences, there would be no results found; barring that one time he kissed Gretchen on a dare in eighth grade (and even then, the kiss was so chaste he almost couldn't smell her tapioca pudding breath). And when it came to fantasies, the forums he tended to lurk on... he'd rather not say out loud. 

All this to say, it felt _good_. Really good. Zim's mouth hung open, probably in shock, though after being translated through Dib's pathetically lightweight brain, shock had turned to an enticing smile. 

Jumping in with both feet first, he planted his lips squarely on Zim's. And his first thought was why on earth was this alien's mouth so _decadent_? It had been less than three seconds and he was already gasping for air like Zim had reached in and plucked out his lungs. Again. With less cow noises this time.

Dib parted his lips, tongue peaking out; he was here to taste after all. And Zim didn't taste like alcohol but his mouth was sweet and warm and _wet_ and _-_ oh fuck what was he _doing?_

The force Dib pulled away with caused his head to slam into the wall, rattling the coat hangers. Smooth. 

Zim was smacking his lips together like he had just eaten something very unpleasant, which was kinda rude because Dib didn't think he was _that_ bad. 

"You're a bad kisser. Too slimy," Zim critiqued.

  
Oh. Guess he was. 

"How would you even know?" Dib huffed. What, had Zim been practicing his technique? Who would even want to kiss him? Certainly not Dib. 

"And that wasn't a _kiss_ I was just proving a point," he added, more for his own sanity than anything else.

Zim's eyes narrowed. "What point would that be?" 

Right, the point. Point... What did Dib want again?

"I wanted to taste you. And I did, so I guess, that was the point..." he finished lamely.

Zim grimaced. "If you wanted to kiss me-"

"I don't! I didn't!" Dib interrupted, walking closer to the alien menace. 

"You, didn't?" 

His thumb traced those glorious emerald lips. Embarrassment drained, his mind leapt to the next closest emotion that could host this much adrenaline. His heart was pounding. 

"Yeah..." 

"Why do you keep staring at me like that?" 

Dib wet his lips. 

"You taste good..." 

He scoffed. "Zim is not a _meal_." 

"Oh but I could eat you up..." Dib breathed.

Obscene images were conjuring faster than he could slur his words together. 

"Would you like that Zim? Would you like if I did that for you?" 

  
How much of this was he saying out loud? Maybe he was drunker than he thought, this was staring to get out of hand.

He decided, in a stroke of brilliance, to de-escalate the situation by pulling Zim closer and shoving his tongue down his throat. Although in a few seconds, that action was reversed entirely, as a foreign appendage was slipping into his mouth and tickling his soft pallete. 

Logic told him that shouldn't turn him on nearly as much as it did, but the throbbing heat between his legs couldn't care less. 

Fuck. Yeah, he was hard. Had been for a minute. And the weak movements Zim made against his body were not helping, but by no means did Dib want them to stop and oh _god_ if Zim stopped he might just _cry_. Moaning around the slippery tongue, he fumbled for, something. It was hard to feel someone up when you didn't know what to look for. 

The hangers rattled again as they slumped against the wall, Zim straddling Dib in an awkward half-lounging half-kneeling position. There wasn't really room for any other configuration. Dib briefly considered leaving the closet, but that would mean stopping, and he wasn't sure if that was even a possibility right now. 

His hands had been clumsily grabbing at Zim's hips, and why did he have such a nice ass anyway? Zim shouldn't be allowed to be sexy, he was an _alien_.

Dib couldn't remember how they got there, but his hands had somehow made it the the top of Zim's head. His wig was kinda scratchy. Non-organic fibers. Felt kinda like it was bought at Party City. Not secured very well at all, he accidentally pushed it to the floor. 

Zim's antennae popped up like a drowning man gasping for air. Normally, they were pretty stationary but he must've been in a good mood because the black stalks were flailing around the moment they were freed from their scratchy confines. 

"Hey! Stop hitting me in the face with-" 

The tip fell into his mouth. He pulled it in and sucked out of instinct. 

"Hhhk!" 

Oh, did Zim like that? 

More purposeful this time around, he swirled around the petite tip. That got another lovely noise and a nice hard grind against his body. Now they were talking. Dib popped the feeler out of his mouth. 

"Does that, feel good?" 

He grasped the base roughly with a few fingers. Zim shuddered and pressed against him again. 

"Oh..." 

A little drunk off power and a lot drunk off alcohol, Dib smiled and returned to kissing Zim with reinstated vigor. Hands occupied on rubbing the black stalks atop his head. Mouth guzzling the tiny mewls and chirps Zim released like free drinks, only this time they didn't burn going down. Going down... 

Dib's brain was assaulted with even more obscene imagery, and sure, _that_ particular act maybe wasn't feasible at the moment but the heat in his belly raged all the same. He shifted, locking their legs together, and thrust frantically against Zim's wonderfully solid thigh, throaty moans escaping past his lips. And every drag felt that much more powerful when he resumed sucking on an antenna like a lollipop and Zim's chirping started to get even louder. 

"D-Dib..." 

Oh _fuck_ Zim shouldn't be able to say his name like that. 

"D-Dib I think... We sh-should stop..." 

Stop? Why would they ever stop when everything felt so delicious? 

"Why?" Dib mumbled around the feeler between his lips. 

"I feel... I feel... Something..." Zim spoke in broken breaths. He started to rock against Dib harder, but once again, abruptly stilled. 

He whimpered. "Hot... why does it tingle so much?"

Had Zim never come before? Wait. 

_Was Zim going to come?_

The thought of Zim coming on top of him, in the cramped closet of Zeta's bedroom, hit like a hundred defibrillators directly to the heart. Dib pulled him even closer, one hand on his ass, the other on an antenna. 

"Don't be scared Zim, I'm gonna make you feel so good..." 

His mission was simple. Bring his alien nemesis to orgasm. He could work out the details later. 

"No! I don't want... Stop that! It feels weird!" Zim exclaimed, yanking his antenna away from Dib's relentless fingers and lips.

Oh. Well, his mission _was_ simple. 

"It's not like I'm going to hurt you! It's kinda, the opposite of that..." Dib explained. "I wanna make you come Zim." 

The glazed look in his eyes was not encouraging. 

"Do you, know what that is?" 

He scoffed. "Of course I know what... the come is. I just, wish to not experience the... That." 

"Really? Because if you did know, I'm pretty sure you'd want it." 

He squirmed a little, caught between two options. And Dib was ready and willing to tip the scales in his favor, by any means necessary. 

Zim mumbled at the floor. "I feel...hot."

"If you let me touch you, I can make it go away," Dib offered. "But it's not going to stop otherwise." 

"No..." 

Dib sighed in irritation. "So you would rather feel hot and unsatisfied then let me touch you?" His hands trailed back up to his antennae. He could feel the frustration radiating off Zim's skin.   
"Come on Zim, lemme just-"

He wrapped his fingers around the base and gently massaged, causing the little alien to writhe below.

"Do you really want me to stop?"   
A long stroke from bottom to top, and back down again, had Zim shivering and nuzzling into his neck. 

"N-nehh...."

"Doesn't it feel good? I just want to make you feel good Zim..." Dib purred. The walls were crumbling down now. Licking his lips, Dib took the end back into his mouth and sucked, taking great care to draw out every little movement until Zim was clinging to his body and rocking his hips once more. 

"Hhk, D-Dib..." Zim panted. "I- it's... warm..." 

Dib pushed the antenna out with his tongue and started to stroke it nice and fast. 

"That's right. You're doing so good, you're so good Zim..." 

Harder presses. Dib wasn't too far off himself. He slammed their hips together and soaked in the delightful friction. Chirping rang throughout his ears, he was so close. 

"Come for me space boy..." Dib whispered. "You're gonna feel so good...so good..." 

Zim stiffened in his arms and shuddered violently with a loud cry. Probably too loud. But Dib could worry about that later because right now he was reveling in the realization that Zim was orgasming on top of him, _because of him,_ and it was the hottest fucking thing he had ever seen in his life.

Not even trying to keep his dignity any longer, Dib humped Zim's leg like it was all he had to live for and tumbled into his own orgasm just a second later. Maybe the vodka had a part in it, or maybe it was simply the euphoria of another warm body, but he came in such an explosion of fiery goodness, that when he finally opened his eyes, his limbs were jelly. He felt like an old balloon deflating on the floor and at the same time, sinking into a never-ending basin of water. 

Heavy pants bounced back and forth between the two boys as they rested against one another. The world was spinning. 

  
"I'm sticky..." Zim grumbled. 

Oh. He was right. Dib felt very damp, from the front of his groin down to his thighs. That, wasn't subtle. At all. 

"Shit..." 

If they left now, reeking of sex, mysterious fluids staining their pants and hair tousled, there was not a single person who wouldn't be able to pinpoint exactly what they had been doing. Dib closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall. 

  
Zim swallowed. "I haven't... the come was new." 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah..." 

"Was the other stuff new too? Have you been, aroused, before?" Dib asked, as he scooted into a more comfortable sitting position, leaning against the wall. He moved Zim to an easy spoon, hands on his belly. 

Zim blushed. "I didn't, know that's what it was..." 

"Oh..." Dib paused. "What did you, think it was?" 

He wiggled uneasily. "I wasn't sure. I've touched my antennae like that, but I thought the squirmy feelings were just, more hatred for... you." He finished with a little wave of his hand.

"But you never- you didn't come?" He shook his head. 

Oh god, how long had Zim been edging himself thinking of Dib? No wonder he was such a pest, Dib wouldn't wish that level of sexual frustration on his worst enemy. Literally. 

  
Heavy eyelids closed. Dib was starting to feel a little light-headed. Tired. Zim's warm body was a lullaby. The ground was hard and his legs were scrunched, but everything was so peaceful and warm, it felt like a temptation to slumber. He threw his forgotten coat over their bodies as a makeshift blanket. 

"What are you doing?" 

"Just give me five minutes..." 

Zim smooshed the top of his head against his cheek. It was sweet in an obnoxious kind of way. 

"You cannot be serious. This is clearly not a suitable location for sleeping." 

Dib yawned. "Look, just keep an eye out. If anyone tries to open the door, I don't know, kick me or, punch me in the face, or something."

"Not that I am turning down the offer to bring harm to your weak, fleshy body, but why should I do that?" 

"It has to look like we were fighting, not fucking," he mumbled. Although given how loud Zim had been, it was probably a lost cause at this point anyway. 

"We were fucking?" 

"I guess, kinda." Dib hummed. "Well actually, I guess not? I don't know, it depends on the definition." 

The status of his virginity could stay ambiguous for the next few minutes, he wasn't about to get into that discussion right now. It was complicated enough when both parties were humans. 

"Can you be quiet and let me sleep now?" 

"No." 

Figures. 

"Fine," Dib groaned. "Then get off." He tried to shove a non-cooperating Zim off his chest. "What?" 

Zim snuggled closer. "I don't think I will. You made yourself into a bed and now I will lie on it." 

"I think you're mangling the expression a bit." 

"Nonsense, Zim mangles nothing."

  
Their banter continued for at least twenty minutes before someone finally opened the door and caught them in the middle of a heated argument, that just so happened to turn into another kissing session. 

"Oh sorry..."

Dib violently unlocked his lips. "Wait!"

The door slammed shut.

  
"I told you it was them! You better pay up Alex!" An ambush of giggles erupted from the outside of the closet.

"They had a bet going?" Dib whined. "Oh that's great, that's just fanstasic. I can't wait to be the laughing stock of the whole skool." 

"Weren't you already?" 

"Hey! Screw you Zim!"

"Think you already did that!" A voice sounded from beyond the door, making Dib flush a horrible red. The mocking laughter eventually dissipated as the hungry crowd grew bored, and when it was completely silent once again, Dib creaked open the door. Empty. 

"Oh thank God, they're finally gone," Dib sighed. "I don't think I could've taken much longer in that closet..." 

Ugh, the room was spinning in a far more unpleasant way and a dull ache was pounding at his skull. He had taken his car here but somehow, driving home did not seem like the best option at this time. 

"Zim, I can't believe I'm saying this, but, can you take me home?" 

Zim blinked and readjusted his clothes, Dib cringing at the slightly wet sound his rubbery leggings made. 

"I suppose so..." He paused. "On one condition." 

"What's that?" 

Zim shifted his weight and tugged on the hem of his tunic. 

"Can we...do the fucking again?" He asked, staring at the ground.

Dib's heart vibrated, while a familiar warmth ran laps around his body. 

"Yeah- Yeah I think that can be arranged..." 

  
He grabbed Zim and they ran to his pathetically disguised voot, completely ignoring all thoughts related to the absolute disaster of a morning he was going to have tomorrow regarding, not only their surprise witness, but a couple unnoticed marks that were soon to be left as evidence. But that was a problem for future Dib. Present Dib on the other hand... 

Oh he was doing just fine. 


End file.
